Klingon, Wolverine, Garibaldi, Ducktail, Old Dutch and…Love Curls. These are all names for different types of beard. We’re all familiar with the traditional Van Dyke, Mutton Chops or Goatee nomenclature, but the beard boom has spawned a plethora of styles whose number is only matched by the variety of women’s shoes. In the questing tradition of Men Rock, we’ve combed the web for further enlightenment regarding beard classification.
It’s not like birdwatching or trainspotting which you’ll all be conversant with. There’s no handy, ready-made, generally-agreed classification complete with specific latin names or identifying numbers. Beard classification is still in nascent form, awaiting the definitive master work. So it has to be hearsay for the time being.
Among the numerous (and publishable) attempts to name that beard, one of the best and most comprehensive is from the unlikely-sounding Balding Beards. That’ll be a thin list then? But no, they recognise and name no less than 42 beard styles – if you include goatees as beards (we do).
Your correspondent spotted his own pride and joy immediately. It’s a ‘Short Boxed Beard’ apparently. And, according to Balding Beards, George Clooney, the perpetual Most Eligible Bachelor (ahem), has worn a beard that falls into this category. That’s the good news, but they add that it’s also the style that is ‘acceptable in just about every workplace’. A bit boring then? Maybe time for a change for me…
Something a little different? There’s plenty to choose from here – the French Fork, for instance. German grand admiral Alfred Von Tirpitz may have brought it to prominence, but more recently, Brad Pitt has championed this distinctive style.
It’s not easy to achieve, but if you want to look like Pitt, here’s how: grow your beard to a length of 3 to 7 inches, while keeping your cheek lines trim with a razor. Once your beard has reached its desired length, sculpt it into two forks.
Into a 70s revival vibe? The Winnfield could be for you. As worn by Samuel L. Jackson in his role as Jules Winnfield in Pulp Fiction. If you have a diamond-shaped face, this might work.
And here’s one that only Johnny Depp could get away with: the Sparrow. Ideal if you want that Pirates of the Caribbean look. If you want one, Balding Beards have everything you need to know here.
Don’t feel left out if you favour a ’stache to a beard style. There’s a whole array of styles which we’ll focus on in another upcoming piece. Or perhaps the beard possibilities here have inspired you to extend your ’stache?
Shaver or shunner, ’stache or beard wearer, you need to get your groom on. And Men Rock is the place to do it.